Rebuilding

If you could find a way to forgive me

She said

Perhaps that’s where we could start

As I honestly never meant

She said

To be so careless with your heart

Good To See You

We’ve already missed our moment

She said

So it’s best we don’t meet again

I know you love someone else

He said

But I’d still like to be your friend

I Know

I know

You’ll never ask again

I know

I missed my time

I know

You no longer feel the same

I know

You’ll never be mine

Stamped Feet

I wish

I could

Take it back

All this time

That’s gone

To waste

Now

You’ll never know

Who I am

Because of

A choice

Made in haste

In Beero Veritas

Who’d have thought

That we’d come to

Both half dead

And needing the loo

Perhaps we should

Have thought this through

Instead of getting drunk

And doing the do

Sex With The Ex

There’s a small amount of comfort

But it quickly becomes a chore

And when he tries to converse

You remember why he’s such a bore

It Never Happened

So I guess now we just ignore each other

Pretend what we had never existed?

Well I suppose that’s better

Than letting things fester

And becoming all bitter and twisted

Embarrassment

I didn’t think

I could fuck things up

Any more if I tried

But then I got drunk

And kissed you back

And now I want to die

Dazed And Confused

It was the best day

When we met

The worst when

You walked away

But what hurts the most

Is I was far too morose

For you to want to stay

Fate

I wish I’d never met you.

Life would be easier then.

If I’d never met you

I wouldn’t have to forget you.

And I would be happier then.

(Originally Posted 09.03.2019)

The Siren

I hear her calling my name,
Luring me to the murky depths.

Her song, beckons me.
Her promise, tantalises me.

I am compelled to listen.
I am urged to respond.

But she is all the way out at sea,
And I never learned to swim.

(Originally Posted 23.04.2019)

‘First Dates’

She awoke that morning to the sound of the bells. Those fucking incessant church bells that plagued her every Sunday morning. She opened one eye to the world and, as the daylight scorched her alcohol soaked retina, she quickly closed it again. Fucking tequila, she murmured. Never again. Yeah, right.

Then she remembered. Shit. She tentatively slid her hand across the mattress. She felt his presence before she heard his snore. Fucking tequila, she murmured again. Bollocks.

She took a deep breath and forced both of her eyes open to absorb the piercing light this time. The bells had stopped thank fuck. One less thing to deal with.

She sat up, carefully, and embraced the world. She wasn’t ready to wake the man whose name she had forgotten – or in truth had never known – just yet.

She crawled, with great difficulty, from the bed. Every bone feeling like a dead weight, she managed to pull last nights shirt over her head and stumble to the kitchen.

She took a glass from the draining board and filled it with ice cold water from the stainless steel tap. She revelled in the smooth taste cleansing her mouth, her throat and her head. She glugged down four paracetamol and proceeded to the bathroom to wash the lingering taste of the man from her mouth.

She looked at herself in the mirror. I look like I feel, she thought, and I feel like shit. Still, first things first. She needed to get this fucker out. Composing herself and her aching limbs she strode into the bedroom; clapping her hands loudly as she stepped.

‘Rise and shine sleeping beauty’ she croaked. ‘Time to go’. The mound of stale sweat, alcohol and drool lay motionless under the duvet. ‘I said come on motherfucker – move’. She shouted louder this time pairing her cry with a swift kick to what she hoped was his kidney area. The man whimpered as he rolled over on to his front.

‘Just come back to bed, babe’ he muttered sleepily.

‘Babe? Are you fucking shitting me mate? Just get the fuck out of my bed!’ She was shaking him now as he heaved himself upright. Dazed and confused he looked into her eyes, realisation slowly dawning that if he wanted to keep his testicles intact he’d better not argue. He hurriedly dressed as she shooed him out of the bedroom and pushed him out of the flat – the front door knocking him over as he pulled on his boots.

‘Well, thanks for that and everything. But I won’t be calling you again’ she snipped.

‘But, I..’ was all she heard before she slammed the door in his puzzled, but albeit pretty cute, face.

She stalked back to bed, vowing never to drink tequila again.

Yeah, right.

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

My Advice

Do as I say 
Not as I do

I wouldn't
want this pain

Inflicted
on you

(Originally Posted 10.03.2019)

 

Random #18

‘You could have achieved so much more, if you weren’t so fucking insecure’

– Me

(Originally Posted 19.07.2019)

Troubled

Staying
up
late
again

Sitting
here
all
alone

Unable to
shake this
creeping
feeling

That
I really
should
have
known

Timerous Beasties

When
I picture
my
youth

I see
you
and
me

Sitting
beneath
that old
oak tree

You
reading
a book

My
head
on your
shoulder

Both
of us
hoping

The
other
is
bolder

Temptress

We
really
shouldn’t
do this

She
said

If it’s
something
you’ll
regret

I won’t
know
until
we’re
done

He
said

And I
haven’t
started
yet

Absolution

Perhaps
this is
all I
deserve

And I
should
expect
more

For
penance
has to
be paid

To
those
my love
I swore

I Wish I Could

I wish
I could
have made
you better

I wish
I could
have made
it go away

I wish
I could
have taken
the pressure

I wish
I could
have made
you stay

Robbed

I wish
we
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
your
voice
forever

The
sound
of my
best
friend

Just A Child

It’s a
shame
you’ve
used him
as a
weapon

As a way
for your
feelings
of guilt
to lessen

But
it’s me,
you’ll
find,
that
he will
seek

When
he finally
understands
your
cruel
streak

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