Monsters

They are always there,
Gnawing away at my brain.

One day I will kill them,
And I shall smile again.

Night Terrors (Part 1)

I sense you,
stalking me from behind.
I won’t let you win.

I see you,
prowling outside my window.
I won’t let you in.

I hear you,
scratching at my door.
I won’t let you win.

I feel you,
gnawing on my bones.
How did you get in?

Living with Hypochondria

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

I get headaches.
Crushing, pounding headaches.
Cannot finish cigarettes,
because of the headaches.

I'm always itching,
Skin crawling.
Can't stay in one position for too long,
as my bones ache.
Sickness burns in my stomach,
constantly queasy.
My sleep patterns are disturbed.

I have bruises on my arms and legs, 
Lumps and bumps everywhere.
I feel dizzy all the time, 
Stumbling when I walk. 
I cannot concentrate my mind.
My own wheeze wakes me up. 

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

But there's no way I can see a doctor.
I'm too scared for that.
They might just confirm I'm really ill,
after all...

Sleepless in Riddrie

It's when I think about you the most.
In the wee small hours,
When I can't sleep.
Because of you.

It's your fault.
I say it often and it's true.
You have no right to make me feel the way you do.
Constant simultaneous conflicting emotions.

I know it's just sex between us.
But I feel more.
I know it's not the same for you.
You love another, after all.

I feel more of a connection.
Not just physically but mentally too.
I know when you are going to call or send a message.
It's no surprise: I sense it.

But I am scared.
I don't know the rules to your game.
I don't have the capacity to learn.
Perhaps I never will.

It's okay for you.
You have been here before.
But I know you will get sick of me, eventually.
And I won't know what else to do.

Xxx

The Bridge

Today, I choose not to jump.

Tomorrow, who knows.

I am already standing too close to the edge…

 

Sleeping In

I wait for it to come, but it never comes.
The words of the song drown out my silence.
But still I feel alone.

The candle flickers wildly by my side.
I lay awake, my eyes stalking every shadow.
The walls bear down upon me gazing with their hostile stare.
I dig myself further and further into the bed.

What exactly is it that I'm scared of?
Why can't I let go?
Which train of thought is it that I dare not break?

 

 

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