Nothing In Return

Why don’t you just come over

He said

Sit with us and have some fun

I’d rather drink alone

She said

When all is said and done

Any Advice?

How on earth do you cope

He asked

With all the loneliness

You don’t have any choice

She said

When you’ve got no one left

Solo

Time flies

When you’re having fun

That’s why it’s still midnight

As I’m having none

Murderer

My heart is empty now;
it can never be filled.

My life is over now;
my spirit you have killed.

(Originally Posted 16.07.2019)

‘First Dates’

She awoke that morning to the sound of the bells. Those fucking incessant church bells that plagued her every Sunday morning. She opened one eye to the world and, as the daylight scorched her alcohol soaked retina, she quickly closed it again. Fucking tequila, she murmured. Never again. Yeah, right.

Then she remembered. Shit. She tentatively slid her hand across the mattress. She felt his presence before she heard his snore. Fucking tequila, she murmured again. Bollocks.

She took a deep breath and forced both of her eyes open to absorb the piercing light this time. The bells had stopped thank fuck. One less thing to deal with.

She sat up, carefully, and embraced the world. She wasn’t ready to wake the man whose name she had forgotten – or in truth had never known – just yet.

She crawled, with great difficulty, from the bed. Every bone feeling like a dead weight, she managed to pull last nights shirt over her head and stumble to the kitchen.

She took a glass from the draining board and filled it with ice cold water from the stainless steel tap. She revelled in the smooth taste cleansing her mouth, her throat and her head. She glugged down four paracetamol and proceeded to the bathroom to wash the lingering taste of the man from her mouth.

She looked at herself in the mirror. I look like I feel, she thought, and I feel like shit. Still, first things first. She needed to get this fucker out. Composing herself and her aching limbs she strode into the bedroom; clapping her hands loudly as she stepped.

‘Rise and shine sleeping beauty’ she croaked. ‘Time to go’. The mound of stale sweat, alcohol and drool lay motionless under the duvet. ‘I said come on motherfucker – move’. She shouted louder this time pairing her cry with a swift kick to what she hoped was his kidney area. The man whimpered as he rolled over on to his front.

‘Just come back to bed, babe’ he muttered sleepily.

‘Babe? Are you fucking shitting me mate? Just get the fuck out of my bed!’ She was shaking him now as he heaved himself upright. Dazed and confused he looked into her eyes, realisation slowly dawning that if he wanted to keep his testicles intact he’d better not argue. He hurriedly dressed as she shooed him out of the bedroom and pushed him out of the flat – the front door knocking him over as he pulled on his boots.

‘Well, thanks for that and everything. But I won’t be calling you again’ she snipped.

‘But, I..’ was all she heard before she slammed the door in his puzzled, but albeit pretty cute, face.

She stalked back to bed, vowing never to drink tequila again.

Yeah, right.

(Originally Posted 06.03.2019)

How Long Has It Been Now?

From this cold embittered heart

I just cannot be prised apart

Like a leech on an open wound

Oh, is there any hope for me

From the past to be set free

And to love again become more attuned?

🖤

Pros & Cons

Whatever
it is you
want
from me

I just
don’t
have it
to give

As I’m
focusing
all of my
attention

On
finding
reasons
to live

The Two Of Us

I don’t want just anyone,

I only want you.

To feel you,

Touch you,

Wrap my arms around you.

Hold you,

Squeeze you,

Bring me to my knees,

You.

It’s always been you.

Legless

Play that song
one more time

She
said

And pour me
another drink

I want to
feel something

She
said

And I don’t want
to have to think

The Spiral

It feels like
every day I fall

A little further
down the hole

Losing just
a wee bit more

Of my mind,
body and soul

A Forgone Conclusion

It’s
very
nice of
you to
be kind

But
please
don’t
pay me
any mind

For I
am just
a cause
that’s
lost

As into the
pyre my
heart’s
been
tossed

Better Off Dead

Sometimes
I
wonder,

Is
this all
there is?

Just
boredom,
emptiness

And your
endless
bullshit?

I couldn’t
think of
anything
nicer,

Than to be
somewhere
else
instead.

Far from
all the
anxiety
and pain,

And your
words
plaguing
my head.

To The Minute

There’s nothing
else to do

There’s nothing
else to say

For my love was
lost to me forever

One year
ago today

Xxx

Poison

What
once
runneth
over

Is
now
empty

What
once
was
painless

Now
there’s
plenty

The Pits

Darkness
swirls
inside
the pit of
emptiness
as it
screams
and
sprawls
around
me

Perhaps
I should
take
heart
now
that the
pit of
loneliness
is
behind
me

Down

I can’t
do anything
any more

All I do
is sit
and stare

Questioning
myself all
the time

Moaning
how life
isn’t fair

In truth
I actually
bore myself

So fuck
knows why
you care

Our House

Nothing in this house
makes sense anymore

Madness lurks
behind every door

Memories of all
the love we swore

Leave my head in a spin
and my heart on the floor

Twinkle

You
say
that
look
in my
eye

Sends
shivers
down
your
spine

I hope
one day
when
you
look
at me

That
you’ll
send
shivers
down
mine

The Self Pity Party

So many nights I’ve cried,

Feeling dead inside,

Whilst wrestling with my neurosis.

I can’t help but discern,

Despite all your supposed care and concern,

That you haven’t even noticed.

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