Swipe Left

Love
might
be in
the air

But
so is
COVID
19

We’re
living
in a
pandemic

You
prick

What
you’re
proposing
is obscene

On Future Dates

I
know
that
I
agreed
to
this

But
now
I
am
quite
scared

What
if
I’m
late
to
meet
you

Or
my
ability
to
talk
is
impaired?

What
about
if
you
realise

When
you
look
at
me up
close

That
I
really
am
quite
old
and
tired

And
the
thought
of
kissing
me
is gross?

Middle Class Wooing

Don’t
bother
picking
flowers

They
will just
make me
sneeze

If you
really
want to
impress me

Just
bring
a wheel
of cheese

For an
‘expensive’
bottle
of wine

And a
little
bit of
Brie

Is
really
all it
takes

To get
into
bed
with me

Transition

I’m not
ready for
you to
love me

She
said

So let’s
just take
things
slow

There’s
so much
I can’t
forget

She
said

But I
need this
more than
you know

Swipe Right

How’s
about
it

Just
us
two?

Fancy
a
walk

Visit
the
zoo?

Get
a
beer

Eat
some
food?

Spend
the
night

Being
terribly
rude?

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