Letting You Go

I really did love you, you know

I wish I’d told you so before

And now you’re gone

Nothing can be done

But to regret it

Forevermore

Xxx

The Death Of Me

Nearly twenty years together

And what do I have to show

Just a blackened heart

Now we’re three years apart

And sadness the status quo

Xxx

Not A Material Girl

I wouldn’t thank you

For diamonds

And I don’t care

About pearls

I couldn’t give

Less of a shit

For all the stars

In the world

I just want you

Back here with me

If only

For a minute

For my life

Has lost it’s sparkle

Without you

Still in it

Xxx

Queen Of The Damned

I guess I should be better now

Is that what you’re trying to say

I should be all sweetness and light

Having locked the darkness away

Well I’m sorry to disappoint you

But that’s not how this shit works

Time doesn’t heal all wounds

In fact it makes it worse

See whilst the world moves itself on

I fall further and further behind

For the pain of his loss is lifelong

And to that I am resigned

Xxx

#16 The Friend

Today is going to be hard,

I know,

But that is why I’m here.

To eat, drink and smoke

With you

And wipe away your tears.

Xxx

964 Nights

I haven’t slept

On that side

Even after

All this time

It will forever

Lie empty

As it’s yours

Not mine

Xxx

Sceptical

You can tell me all you want

That you can hear him

But I’ll never believe it’s true

For if he was talking to anyone

From the ‘other side’

Then it would be me, not you

Xxx

The Claret Box

I know what this date means

Even if very few other people do

That’s why I’ll find a way

At some point today

To sit and remember you

Xxx

An Unnatural Order

You were always going to die

Before me

We were resigned to that fate

But it shouldn’t have been

When you were forty five

And I was thirty eight 

Xxx

Failure

I pride myself on my planning

I write lists day after day

I schedule my time wisely

So that nothing gets in the way

I prepare for every eventuality

Without a pause for breath

But the one thing I didn’t account for

Was your untimely death

Xxx

Headfuckery

I dreamt
About you
This afternoon
For only
The second time

Then
As I woke up
The silence sent
It’s shivers
Down my spine

Xxx

Forever Faltering

It’s all too easy

To slip into

This ‘everything is ok’ soundtrack

But you and I both know

It’s all just pretend

Because you’re never coming back

Xxx

April The 1st

I woke up alone again today

Going over the words we spoke

Another day without you here

Really is a fucking joke

Xxx

Fate

I wish I’d never met you.

Life would be easier then.

If I’d never met you

I wouldn’t have to forget you.

And I would be happier then.

(Originally Posted 09.03.2019)

Bottled Memories

I’m glad
I kept
your aftershave,
so that I
can wear
it too.

It’s the
only thing
that I
have left,
that keeps
me close
to you.

(Originally Posted 14.06.2019)

Sometimes

Sometimes it's easy to think about you.
Our memories overwhelm me,
I feel the touch of your hand in mine,
and my eyes sparkle with joyous delight.

Sometimes I can't think about you at all.
My brain shuts off the pathway to the pain, 
My lungs stop taking in air,
and my heart, momentarily, stops beating.

Sometimes it's easy to talk about you.
Words fall from my mouth,
stories flow like vintage wine, 
and my smile is as wide as the horizon.

Sometimes I can't talk about you at all.
Sentences fail to form in my head,
my voice dries up like a parched riverbed, 
and my mouth is clamped like a vice.

(Originally Posted 22.03.2019)

Best Fri(end)

I
never
thought

This
would
be

How
all
this
would
end

Me
living
here
alone

Without
my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)

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